Today I lead a ride the likes of which had not been seen before. It was so good that that people on the ride couldn't believe how good it was. In fact is was so good that more people showed up for this ride then the tour de francaise. Here is the route to show you how good it was.
We started in Frenchtown and headed over to the PA side of the Delaware where the roads were amazing. I even managed to close the road for first the 6 mile for the category 1 climb up to Lake Noximixion because I could. From there is was rolling hills and great scenery until we hit the town of Perkasie where we stopped at one of my primo rest stops where I got the most beautiful chocolate brownie you have ever seen.
After the rest stop we climbed the toughest hill of the day, much harder than that little Manayunk wall they have in Philadelphia. Some of the losers with me complained about how hard the hill was but I pulled them all up with me.
The ride then continued along the stupendous roads north of Lake Noximixion going past Greek temples and some of the best wellness centers in the country. I was riding so fast and hard that I was wearing the rest of the people out so I had to stop a second so they could rest and get some food to keep up with me.
I took an amazing detour along a gravel rode (Quarry Rd) with scenery that could not be believed but all these people could do is complain about how afraid they were about falling on the gravel SAD.
The last part of the ride was down the famous Red Circle of Death (Red Cliff Rd). It is an impossible steep downhill that few can handle but I lead everybody down safely back to the starting point.
Some people accuse me of being a lying bastard but is it the lamestream media (and my insane bike posse) that is creating that FAKE NEWS. They even accuse me of colluding with that commie Philly bike club on the ride today. Yes it is true that I met with them in the first weekend in May but it was a meeting about a charity ride. OK I got some route sheets at the meeting but there was no collusion.
The truth is if I was such a lying bastard why would people ever allow me to lead them on any ride.
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